When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
