Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
