He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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