dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
