when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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