in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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