He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
