1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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