lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
