My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
