Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
