we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
