if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
