i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Terrible idea I love it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
