I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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