hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
