i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
