you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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