do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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