it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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