It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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