the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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