hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
