May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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