I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Someone came in the potted fern
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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