If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
