Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
