And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
