i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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