How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
