Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
