You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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