were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
