no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
