he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
