you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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