woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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