But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
