Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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