I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
