dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You don't make any sense
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