Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
