i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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