A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
