My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
