Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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