i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
