If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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