you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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