oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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