It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
