Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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